what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
