we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
