Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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