This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
