I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
