guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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