Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
