i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize