halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
