I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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