He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
