so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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