he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Of course I have a pirate flag
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize