Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize