I haven't been this sober since birth.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize