Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
