alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
