i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
