is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize