Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
