just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize