Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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