i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
