I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
