Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
