I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
