sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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