Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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