haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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