my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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