Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
