am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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