but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
