Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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