i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
