She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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