Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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