u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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