Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
