Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize