YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
