this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize