the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
