In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
