the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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