I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We have started to decorate penises.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why are your pants in the freezer?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
