sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
