Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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