Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
