I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Boobs are out for the taking
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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