whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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