I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Hello my rib-scented angel!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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