I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
