My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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