she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's shark week go big or go home
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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