ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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