I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
