just tell him i said nine months
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
