oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize