loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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